THE KEY IS TO TOTALLY FOCUS ON THE NEEDS OF THE OTHER

"Love seeks to make happy rather than to be happy." - Ralph Connor

THE NATURAL INSTINCTS - SELF PRESERVATION & ENHANCEMENT

Men and women are generally born selfish and self-centered. It is always about what I like and what I think. The extension of this trait into the marriage relationship soon surfaces after the glitter of the honeymoon is over. This is where spouses will think to themselves and say, "Why should I be so stupid to always be the one who gives in and who sacrifices.

THE TRAGEDY OF JUSTIFICATION

There is no right and wrong in what justification can be given by someone who wants things to go his or her own way. The greatest tragedy is no one ever sees the other's point with clarity and objectivity. Soon small nuances creep into the behavior and small little cracks surfaces.

GIVING IS A REQUIREMENT TO SUBORDINATE OUR OWN DESIRES FIRST

Zig Ziglar said, "Whoever brings someone up the hill is himself or herself so much closer to the summit." There is great truth in this. Time and again when someone is prepared to subordinate his own desires and wants to the other gets much more satisfaction himself.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT - TRY IT (FOR THE WOMEN)......

When you next make love, try this. Go all out to make sure you pamper your partner. Gently love him, caress him, stroke him, kiss him and patiently rub yourself on him as you start. Kiss him and 'french kiss' him for a long enough period. Run your hands all over him and gently caress his private area. Take your time and lovingly stroke his nipples and tell him how great and fantastic he is. Then ask him what he would like you to do and say that you will do it gracefully. Assure him how you will handle his excitement and how you will prolong his enjoyment.

Then lift up your assets and bring it to him and tell him, "These are all yours - do what you want with it!" Rub your nipples in ten different ways, each time silently inviting him to move on you. When he actually does that, hold him back and say, "just be patient and you will love it!" Tell him tonight will be extra special!

Love is not only about contact - it is also about suggestion, about offering, about projection, about imagination. Turn your back to him and show him your assets from a different angle. Tell him, "How about a change - enter me differently today." Play with his feeling, his emotions, his fantasies. Ask him to tell how he plans to satisfy you later. Talk about when he is inside you; how you will use your muscles to hold his tool so that he can feel the whole length of your inside. Tell him for the next half an hour, you would want to make him feel like a king. Play a game with him - like the hand signal game. Whenever you win, you tell him he can just lie there. Whenever he wins, you tell him you will make him feel good for 5 minutes.

Make him feel really ready for intercourse but don't bring him to very near the edge. Continue to make him horny like mad but as he cannot stand it any longer, back up and love him in the other less senstive parts. Do this and tell him how you love and how you will be ready for him soon. In the entire process, it has to be give, give, give.... Such selfless giving always brings with it great rewards.

MORE ON GIVING (FOR MEN) IN THE NEXT POST.....