BUILDING FIRM MARRIAGE FOUNDATIONS

"When LOVE and SKILL work together, expect a MASTERPIECE" - John Ruskin


Most modern marriages are under severe threat
In a modernistic world where communication is almost seamless and interaction is a level playing field, many marriages flounder even as newly-wed couples begin life together. Amidst the pressures of making a decent living and keeping up with the “Joneses”, many newly weds find “time” a precious commodity. As the marriage begins on tottering steps in financial terms, the pressure of balancing the family budget makes living together a challenge.

When the smoke settles and the glitter fades…
This feeling of fading romance is almost the first test of a marriage’s foundations. By such time, the couple should have established at least a framework of understanding in the development of their mutual relational base. The ability to communicate with each other in an open and frank manner and the establishing of an understanding that there should be no offence in things said (as suggestions for betterment) is crucial to get the relationship entrenched in a firm foundation of mutually accepted principles.

The “essentiality” of great beginnings
What happens in the first few days is very important as the opening guide for the rest of the couple’s life. Great sex is seldom developed from a very poor beginning. The beginning sets the tone for the likely trend that the marriage will take. While the first three to four days are taken amidst a background of “hot” and torrid love, the first three or four months will be more reflective of what happens in the years to come. This is when the passionate and gay abandon of the first few days have ended. This is where the likely patterns of love-making are set. By such time, both the husband and wife should have establish some understanding of each other and their likes and dislikes.

Great love is both natural and nurtured
Are great lovers made or born? No expert can give a clever answer to this question? If two young people get into a marital relationship expecting to find the physical and sensual connections a natural progression, they will most probably be disappointed. No one is quite good enough to naturally find the best solutions to satisfying the other partner. It is a not a “cut-slash-bash” approach that will bring the great feelings of love and starry fulfillment. True love has to be understood and then developed. It is two people adjusting to each other; it is two people trying to find the best way of pleasing each other; it is two people giving of their best.

People are simply so different
Unfortunately or fortunately as the case may be, people are simply very different. What is good for the goose may not be good for the gander! How true is this statement! People simply have very different preferences in what they like. It is like food. Some people without plausible explanation simply cannot bring themselves to like the best chicken dishes; others simply will not touch vegetable dishes or meat dishes. Yet others do not like to eat prawns. There are no explanations. You simply accept them for they like and what they don’t. You can’t even try to coerce them into liking what they don’t.

It is this difference that makes life exciting
Yes, it is in the differences that life’s highs are achieved. Anyone who works towards gapping such differences will find access to great joy and fulfillment. Every man should spend the first few months of his marital life trying to get to know the deep needs and the deep sensual wants of his spouse. It is a time of exploration and improvement. It is a constant process of prolonging satisfaction and driving the sexual wants of his wife to a place where every need can be met. Likewise, the wife should peel off her own shyness and bashfulness and work towards understanding that there are are no barriers in love.

NEXT PUBLISHING:

1. A time of finding out pleasures and heightened likes!
2. A time also of finding out weaknesses and dislikes
3. There must be an agreement to communicate
4. There must be an encouragement to lead and initiate
5. Nothing is not permissible and everything is not improbable